Jul. 5th, 2012

demacrux: (Default)
Going to the movies with this kid, didn't exactly appeal to me. After all, I'm simply this loner that couldn't be controlled nor tied down. And I know how cliche and terrible that sounded. But I'm just trying to put this in the best way I could. In any case, even if I cared to see one of those picture shows, I wouldn't go with this.. wreck of a boy. Listen to me when I declare that he is the most dreaded being that folks know around here. His demeanor sucks all enjoyment out of the room, he brings no pleasant chaos, he .. is someone you genuinely did not want to know. The matter of his existence was troublesome for nearly everyone, including those that begat him in the first place. I have a hard time trying to describe how much I did not care to go anywhere near that boy. And no, I will not address him by name. That boy should be more than enough for anyone really. Sure, we're all ostracizing him.. but hey I've been ostracized too and I'm not nearly as a boorish figure as he is. Hmm, I'm starting to forget the point of this document now since I've been wandering off into trying and failing to give an accurate picture of this boy. Who dared invite me to accompany him to a picture show. The point being is somehow.. somehow, I ended up going. Maybe someone paid me, maybe it was a dare. Who even knows. All I knew is that one Saturday, I did end up accompanying this boy to the picture show. Yes, I refer to the movies as movies, picture shows, cinema, films.. whatever terms come to mind. At the moment, it's picture show. Don't really ask why. I can't necessarily explain it. So I went. And I had a terrible time. He kept trying to be somewhat affectionate and dare I say it.. romantic with me? Looking at him just made me groan in hopeless despair. The show went on for two hours too long and there was no reason for me to enjoy any of it. One day I will look back on this and say that I treated that boy terribly. Well.. so did everyone else and I don't think it was unwarranted. Not at all.

Dissect

Jul. 5th, 2012 07:56 pm
demacrux: (Default)
When I awoke, this morning there was nothing but a sense of dread. I looked out the window only to a find snow falling delicately down, softly covering the sidewalks and the street. Sure snow doesn’t seem so bad. It’s not even snow that is the problem here, it’s heading out into the world that makes me freeze with terror. People are such alternately predictable and unpredictable beings, I never know what to do in their presence. I always think that I’m being judged for whatever I’m doing and it’s slowly driving me up the wall. As such, my nerves are of the wall as I walk out into the cold for the day, all bundled in my peacoat. I have no idea where I’m going or where, but I felt the need to venture out from my safe room and to explore the mad mad world all about me. I walked down the various streets, hoping that I wouldn’t necessarily be noticed but all I could think about was the madness that felt up my soul. Suddenly I felt a tug upon my arm. I turned around quickly in shock and spotted a young man standing behind me, with dark brown eyes, a slightly pale complexion, messy black hair, and a strange expression that wanted to tell me so much but couldn’t. I squeaked out a quiet, “Excuse me?” He responded with a nearly as quiet, “Would you follow?” “Why?” You’ll find out soon enough. Sighing, I deferred and followed this young man. He walked with a casual gait, no hurry apparently to where we were to go. Why do I bother with people? Why did I deign to follow this guy? I had no idea but here I was sullenly strolling behind him, as unnerved as I could possibly be by whatever was possibly going to happen.We eventually arrived at the location, an old theater that had been out of use for about a few months. Entering through a side door, this young man and I came into a room set up as a lounge, but there was such a strange vibe about the whole thing. I don’t know if there were other people..but all I knew was that I was implored to sit. I did so on this black ottoman close to a window. For a moment, I couldn’t help but stare out of the window to calm whatever was stirring within my soul.

The young man brought me back to where I was by suddenly tapping my shoulder. There he was sitting next to me. I didn’t even know his name or why I was here..so I inquired such. Turns out, his name is Dorian..as for why I’m here..”Well, you seem more like an observer of people and an imaginative sort, and I was wondering if you could accompany me in trying to interpreting the observations that I find from interacting from others” ”Well that’s really odd request, but I seem to be doing that constantly with my own findings,” I replied. This is how the exploration of humanity began..all of it well be dissected, noble and depraved..gentle and cruel.

Having agreed to assist Dorian in his project, the two of us headed outside to put on our thinking caps. We headed to a dreary park in the middle of the city. We settled on a bench and began to keep our eyes as well as ears open to whatever may pass by. About half an hour later, we started to see some incidents. There was an argument between friends, another between lovers, a fight between rivals, and one between brothers. I had no idea why such fighting seemed to be so frequent. There wasn’t anything about the day that would lend itself to fighting. And for all we could tell, none of the participants we saw were visibly drunk. I felt the cold more tensely than ever and began subtly to shiver, still making sure I try to see whatever that is to be seen. Perhaps, there wasn’t much to be seen today. However there were other things that took place. A trio of friends were strolling through the park, two boys and a girl. As they strolled I noted the conversation was based on relationships and intimacy. There were the expected responses and statements from each of the parties…couldn’t anyone think of something different? An ordinary day..nothing more nothing less. There was some strangeness but not enough I felt to be worth discussing. I turned to Dorian and asked, “Did you see anything worth mentioning?” He pointed out the amount of fights we’d seen and thought that was strange, but otherwise nothing out of the ordinary. If only there was something to occur. I rose, fully expecting to return home and bid farewell to Dorian. “Farewell, meet again soon..” that’s all I heard as I headed back to my domain.

At home, as I relaxed and read a book, there seemed to be an eerie feeling creeping up in mymind. Was it that I had just spent the day observing, with someone who preferred to remain silent? Was it that though I thought I had saw nothing, perhaps I saw everything in some way? I didn’t know but I was surely unnerved and headed into my bedroom to try to lay down.Under the covers, I was still rather uncomfortable and couldn’t sleep. This strange perturbing feeling was growing, something was going to happen, I knew not what. Suddenly I heard footsteps. But I lived alone, who could that be? The footsteps grew louder and louder, whoever this is was indeed inside my room at this point. I had determined to peek from under the covers to see who this was. Slowly, I lifted the comforter from over my head and looked out into the room. Standing there with a serenely deranged look on his face was Dorian.I couldn’t say a word, paralyzed with confusion, and the next thing I knew I was out.

I was out for about 3 hours as far as I could tell. I woke up somewhere familiar. I soon realized that I was in a private area above the location where Dorian and I would talk. Speaking of Dorian, I also recognized that there he was lying there right next to me. He had this strangely calm, and surprisingly non-slasher smile on his face. I expected a rather creepy expression considering that he had just gotten into my home and taken me back to where he resides, apparently. “Concerned, I would guess you are right now, ” he said straightforwardly. “WELL, YES..you somehow kidnapped me from inside my own bloody home. I’d like to know what the hell is going on? Especially with you mister.” Dorian smirked at my impatient response and sat up. He paused before he explained that I had somehow left a key beneath my door mat, so it was easy for him to get in. “Ugh that was for someone else..I think” “Who, you don’t seem to have any associates whatsoever outside of me.” I implored Dorian to explain why he had kidnapped me and he just replied, ” I’m just as lonely as you are. Just a wee bit more desperate.” In my mind the only thought was, “And a lot more crazy, it looks like.” I couldn’t even be bothered with trying to get a better explanation before Dorian embraced me from behind like we were long time companions. A strange pressure against my neck persisted and I felt his arms wrap me even closer to him. “W-what are you doing?” “Sh..” “NO..I need to know what’s going on.”Dorian refused to say anything more and suddenly I was a strange dazed state where nothing scared me, not even whatever Dorian was attempting to do..

Ah…something feels strangely alright. Something is going on. I awake to some kind of consciousness to find Dorian still embracing me tightly, what appears to be kissing my neck. This sensation is very new, very strange to me and so pleasant. I sighed in reaction and saw him smile shyly at me. ” I told you to just relax.” ” I was in a semi-catatonic state man! I still have no bloody idea what you’re doing to me.But, I kind of like it. Still I’d like to get some rest now if you don’t mind.”He complied though he insisted on doing what is referred to as “snuggling.”At that point I really didn’t care and I drifted off to sleep in his arms

November 2014

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