Aug. 6th, 2012

Heh

Aug. 6th, 2012 10:52 am
demacrux: (Default)
 I must say I am amused by how some of my co-workers are all bragging about how big they used to be in size and such.., this is counting landmass size by the way. And its just oh well..I'm just happy to be alive since I was a part of a several of those conglomerations.  And part of me wants to just walk out and be like .."Yea well, call me when you get over yourselves." ..But I know that won't happen so I just drink my coffee do some programming work and relax here while M's music is playing. Very good stuff, I must tell you. 

Sigh

Aug. 6th, 2012 09:04 pm
demacrux: (Default)
 Well.. I think I am going to have to wait until I find an available version of the guy I am attracted to. Because I'm thinking that he's about to screw this guy who's crazy and tempting him. And if he wants a challenge, well.. that guy will surely give it to him. And you know what? I'm glad I never said a damn thing to him about what I was beginning to feel for him because apparently it probably wouldn't have meant anything. Not enough of a fucking CHALLENGE. fuck that shit. Just fuck it. I can't even.. I'm just so fucking frustrated and alone here and I know I cant have anything created here for me, trust me I know. And it's just .. I'm miss not feeling alone. I miss it so much, I miss spending time getting to know someone. 

but maybe who knows.. chances are that thing is a one time thing. But maybe not. I don't know if I care at this point. 

HA, to think I even remotely had a chance in hell. Heh, how fucking amusing is that thought? huh? To think, I was thinking about plans and thinking about how to get closer and get to know him better. And .. I'll probably still do that. Though all I will be building is a closer platonic relationship at best.

..I'm just so tired though. I think I need to get some coffee unless I'm tempted to drink until ..who knows. Just going to get some coffee. Sorry about this update but, I had a lot to get off of my mind.
demacrux: (Default)
 Well.. in addition to having him around in the mood he is in at the moment. I had to cancel my housing application because the financial aid just wasn't helping, higher tuition and just not enough for anything. So that's kind of a bummer. Maybe Ill just join a carpool in addition to catching the bus. But at least I get to go to school so there's that. -shrug- Always look at the silver lining. Though I can't say that i'm looking forward to this year, I hope I don't end up missing out on too much.

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