Shift.

Dec. 6th, 2010 03:47 pm
demacrux: (Default)

You’ve raised me as your daughter. You’ve tried to do your best, to instill in me the values that you grew up with. You want better for me, and desire for me to excel. I’ve got to something that I have got to tell. I know and you know that I identify as nongendered. There is nothing more to it. I’ve told you before. I’ve tried to get the point home. But still I hear “she” as well as “my other daughter.” What you don’t know is how much this frustrates me. You don’t understand the need for me to hear different pronouns.. you don’t seem to get that I’m no longer your daughter, though nor am I a son. I am an offspring, a xhild, this one. I don’t know how I may get to tell you that you fill me with such rage..when I am  referred to directly as “girl” These parts these parts, don’t a woman make. My biology is a bother and ultimately irrelevant. I’m growing up and feeling so old and worn down..yet there is no recognition of who I really am to be found. There’s a nothing that drives me literally mad, I would hope that you wouldn’t make me have to explain. You’ve raised me as your daughter and you surely did your best, but when I’m no longer your daughter, surely this is your next test. I am a human being though maybe not from this realm. If only you knew the lack of knowing about this shift is causing so much pain. One of these days.. I hope to move out soon, to start my life over and define myself outside of you.Restrictions restrictions..don’t want me to look like a man.I tell you I’m neither gender, and you act like you haven’t heard a damn. thing. I’m tired tired tired.. don’t want to try with this mess no more. I just can’t wait to not return when I walk out that door.


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