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 I wake up this morning not planning to feel any different than I did yesterday. After all, it's only an ordinary day filled with classes and responsibilities. But as time goes on, I start to realize that something is indeed different about me..something I've sensed all along but never really contemplated as it's not really something feasible to talk about. I-I genuinely don't feel human. Not at all actually. Sure I have a human body and sometimes express said emotions that may come with the package (not well, I must add though) but there's something about me that just makes it blatantly clear that I'm not quite of this world in ways that I'd never expect. I mean I had heard of these otherkin folks and kind of got what they meant, but I'd never suspected that I might have some kind of common feeling. But here's the difference which complicates the chances of me finding any resources for my feeling: I don't think that I'm an animal or something out of mythology whatsoever. My worldview seems to be shaped more by science-fiction than anything else and I'm genuinely starting to feel a bit on the android side of things, if not straight up alien. Maybe some kind of combination of both having originated from another dimension. Yes, I know it sounds strange but I-I am being rather genuine when I admit to these thoughts.I mean it's really that strange to think of oneself as some sort of alien android being from another dimension who happens to be personified in a human form at least on this Earth? I don't seem to think so, but after all these are just the realizations that I'm coming to terms with. I really don't know if I'll ever find anyone who feels similar to the way I do, I sense that it's rather unlikely; however, I'm not really bothered by that thought. I've always been private about this sort of thing anyways.

November 2014

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