demacrux: (Default)
 I work as hard as I do, I try the best I can. I don't want to bother others anymore. I seem to only be a pest when I only mean well. I just want to relate to someone..that's all I really want. But I can't. No, you insist on mocking me, ignoring me, never recognizing me ever. I might as well give up and I'm tired. The resentment that I carry inside is rising to the surface once more and I really don't want to think about it anymore. I'm sincerely sorry for those that I've managed to be good to but I, I don't know how long I will be patient for nothing. No satisfaction, no achieving of any goals. Just alienation on a regular basis. I can't even be bothered to care about anything. I think I'll probably just borrow myself in my work and perhaps no one should to hear from me often. I don't mean to be a burden and will make certain that I'm never one again. You'll just not hear from me. I suppose it's for the best, not like anyone would much care what happens anyways. Yea yea, there will immediately be people going "HEY, DON'T DO THAT.." I guess that's what caring is like, I really don't know the feeling much myself. It's just an approximation. So many things just an approximation for interaction. I just really think that it's better for me to go away, there'll be others who do my job as well if not better. I can't ignore everything anymore, I can't keep calm and carry on..I see too much, I hear too many of the things said. And it's now all getting to me, the off-hand remarks, everything and I don't want this anymore. I don't..one'd think I could handle it for my people but as previously mentioned, others can do so much better. 

I'm just going to go. Farewell.. nice knowing you all. perhaps.

November 2014

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