Dec. 6th, 2010 03:47 pm
demacrux: (Default)

You’ve raised me as your daughter. You’ve tried to do your best, to instill in me the values that you grew up with. You want better for me, and desire for me to excel. I’ve got to something that I have got to tell. I know and you know that I identify as nongendered. There is nothing more to it. I’ve told you before. I’ve tried to get the point home. But still I hear “she” as well as “my other daughter.” What you don’t know is how much this frustrates me. You don’t understand the need for me to hear different pronouns.. you don’t seem to get that I’m no longer your daughter, though nor am I a son. I am an offspring, a xhild, this one. I don’t know how I may get to tell you that you fill me with such rage..when I am  referred to directly as “girl” These parts these parts, don’t a woman make. My biology is a bother and ultimately irrelevant. I’m growing up and feeling so old and worn down..yet there is no recognition of who I really am to be found. There’s a nothing that drives me literally mad, I would hope that you wouldn’t make me have to explain. You’ve raised me as your daughter and you surely did your best, but when I’m no longer your daughter, surely this is your next test. I am a human being though maybe not from this realm. If only you knew the lack of knowing about this shift is causing so much pain. One of these days.. I hope to move out soon, to start my life over and define myself outside of you.Restrictions restrictions..don’t want me to look like a man.I tell you I’m neither gender, and you act like you haven’t heard a damn. thing. I’m tired tired tired.. don’t want to try with this mess no more. I just can’t wait to not return when I walk out that door.

Would you?

Dec. 6th, 2010 03:47 pm
demacrux: (Default)

Would you ever fall for someone like me?  A kid with grand dreams, and a world filled with fantasy. A person who neither fits here nor there, A person who has no clue what to do with their hair. Would you ever fall for someone  like me? One who always has to be free, and frankly has not much trust in humanity. A kid not in any hurry to grow because they already feel so old. A person with eccentricity written all over their soul. No place to hide it, It must show. Would you, would you? This I must find out, with all of this romance and madness going about. I don’t even know if I would ever fall, but I’ll like to try. Still I seek out someone with whom I can fly. There’s nothing to it. There’s nothing to see. I gotta know if you would fall for someone like me?

demacrux: (Default)

I don’t have a constant state of mind. It changes from time to time in fits of fancy. Sometimes I desperately long to go gallivanting.Gallivanting on the streets in the most elegant of attire. But lo, No such attire to be found. Just the day to day casualness that I used to be so proud of, and now cause me such shame. Alas, there seems to be no end to this madness. One of these days, I think I’m going to lose my mind and descend into a pit of chaos. A chaos that whirls around my being with no end in sight, causing destruction and hopelessness all around. Waiting waiting for everything to happening and nothing is occurring. I am in a space and time stretch. I am not from here. Not from this city, state, country, planet, universe. I am from an alternate dimension forever bound to this realm due to the circumstances regarding my creation. I wonder, I wonder if anyone else feels the same. I come across as strange minded and totally and completely mad. Not that it matters anyways.

November 2014

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